Dying To Live Meditation Journey

Many of us feel lost, confused, and empty sometimes. At the same time, we feel like we have to fit in or we are disappointed when we don’t fit in. It’s part of a great epidemic in our society, the colonization of our minds. We are conditioned to believe that there is only one narrative we can tell that is a success: We grow up, go to school, get a great job, fall in love, get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. If the storyline veers in a different direction, then we experience a void in our hearts. This is what happens to a culture that is told what they want through massive media marketing and social expectations. 

Many of us do not truly know what we want unless we are in a state of regret or remorse. For some it’s because we never asked ourselves, for others, it’s because we put everyone’s needs and desires before our own, and for others, it’s because we’ve bought into the cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all life story that we don’t know what is authentically true for ourselves. 

In the West, we hardly can speak about death. I know people that have remained angry at life because someone they loved died, without ever accepting that death is a natural part of the sacred life cycle. We keep death hidden under the rug, we try to soften the truth by telling children “they went to sleep.” (No wonder kids don’t want to go to bed.) We shun away realistic conversations about the end-of-life experience. The West is progressive in many ways, but it still has not allowed death to be normalized. In this way, we never fully swallow the fact about death. It is going to happen though we don’t know how or when. 

Meditating on our own death quickly cleans our minds of debris, brings us deeply into ourselves, shows us what needs our attention, and what we need to release. When we can truly sit with the reality of death and the dying process, we can better see the people and things that are most precious to us. The process can be frightening and emotional at first, but the end result is perfect clarity and deep gratitude for our existence. Any confusion we may have had is removed and the feelings of being lost or empty are immediately transformed into a sense of purpose and meaning. 

It is an ancient practice, particularly in the East, to contemplate one’s own death through meditation for all of the reasons above. Death meditation also teaches us about the nature of impermanence, helping us to let go during all the cycles of life. The night can be seen as the death of the day until the next sunrise appears. Death must happen. It is as essential as life. Death can be scary for us because we will miss those who die. However, the fear of the unknown can create a lot of resistance to accepting death. In a world disassociated from the realness of death, some people believe talking or even thinking about death can conjure death. It can be helpful to have a gentle guardian as we enter this practice.

When I guide my students through the dying process I begin by affirming, “Right now, today, you are okay. You are not going to die during this meditation.” Affirming safety and health eases some worry without taking away the power of this practice. Reflecting on our demise helps us to see how we may be spending our most precious gift, time, in a way that doesn’t help us reach our goals. We discover instantaneously who is most important to us. We gain a clear vision of any action steps we need to take. When we use the Death Meditation Journey regularly, (I recommend at least once per year.) we can live life more deliberately, with pure passion and presence. 

I conclude the Death Meditation Journey with some quiet time to journal the big a-ha moments and opportunities to share. These moments of sharing and being seen are part of the actualization process. We do this meditation because we are actively seeking to live our best lives and to receive messages from our highest Self/Spirit/Source. Vocalizing our intention to live consciously based on the poignant moments of our Death Meditation Journey is a way of beginning to fully exist as the authentic being you are. 

For some, we are confirmed that we need to do nothing different. For others, we may be given instructions. One year my message was completely focused on my own personal evolution. Another year I was informed that I needed to stop criticizing someone I loved and that changed our entire relationship. Most recently, I was taught that I needed to focus on raising my daughter. Each year is different. The teachings come from a deep knowing within us. There is no better or faster way to strip yourself of all that you believe you are than pondering the loss of your life. Are you dying to live your best life ever? I am. I hope to share this practice with you in the near future.